From: MDolan6363@aol.com
To: Multiple recipients of list <cx-l@debate.net>
Subject: Fwd: A Backward Community
Date: 97-11-25 13:49:05 EST
From: Bromdn
To: MDolan6363
I'm not subscribed to the CX-L so I've asked someone to post this for me. I
won't receive all of the mail about this, if any is posted, so if you wish to
speak to me about what I say, please feel free to backchannel me at this
account or at
Andrew_B_Ryan@mta.wfu.edu
One of the reasons why I love debate as much as I do is the community. This
is true for me in high school as well as in college. The amazing diversity
of people, and by that I mean personalities (I still think we could do a lot
to increase diversity in debate), just blew my mind when I first started
debating. For a kid who had a somewhat akward social upbrining, with not
many friends but enough to get by, I was surprised with how the activity
weaved a net in which everyone was accepted in one way or another. At the
same time, I went through debate with two or three friends who became
different people as a result, and definitely for the better. They became
more comfortable with themselves in public, as I have, and they realized
something that they didn't before and these people love debate for the same
reason: they think that debate makes people beautiful. And I can't agree
with that any more. To watch my friends who were inward and uncomfortable
with themselves flourish as debate brought out of them their intelligence and
their persuasiveness and even feelings that they didn't know they had made my
heart grow with fondness for both them and the activity. Yet now I see a
disturbing trend that many people are watching along with me and I felt I had
to say something.
It's a shame when the people you want to speak to on an individual basis are
of such a magnitude and shroud themselves in secrecy that you cannot. I am
embarassed that I must post to the CX-L , a forum which I have repetitively
criticized for it's non-argument focus, my feelings on this issue.
I don't believe that many people in the debate community respect each other
as individuals. I think that there is a substantial portion of the community
who only looks at people through a debater lens and then assigns to these
people stories that they have heard, rumors, as if they were truths that came
from the heavens on gold tablets from God himself. I am probably too adamant
on this issue but I want to make my feelings clear. People in every social
circle, and every environment, are enticed by rumors. They want to hear
exotic lies because if they are true, it could bring upheaval and everyone
wants a chance to see everything unravel. They want to see how people react
under pressure and how they put their lives back together afterwards, because
let's face it, if it's not a good rumor, a life shattering one, then what's
the point of listening to it?
I am pleading with everyone to stop this nonsense. If you hear a rumor, why
do you assume it to be true? It may not be your fault. You don't know if
what that person is saying to you is the truth or not. To you, it's not a
rumor, but rather a truth on its face. In an activity where we are taught to
question everything, especially sources, we take what the 12th person to hear
this "story" says about it. It degenerates into a pseudo-intellectual and
larger game of Circle Story, where 12 five year olds sit in a circle and the
first one says a sentence and by the time it's around the room, the sentence
isn't even close to its original meaning. I have yet to hear the truth, in
its pure and unadulterated form, to reach someone in the sixth, seventh, or
even third sense that is not even radically different from the first person.
>From my personal experience, which is definitely not exclusive or probably
even different from some of your own, rumors hurt people, no matter where
they are said or what their content are. A long time ago I vowed not to care
about rumors about me because the way I figure it is that if someone isn't
willing to meet me head on and try to be my friend, but rather wishes to
speak in a derogatory way about me, they won't ever figure out that I'm a
softy at heart. I love my friends and that's why all of this is so
disturbing to me. I remember my freshman year, a very close friend of mine
cried her eyes out on my shoulder because someone said she was a whore
because she had dated two different guys in her lab that summer. Just dated,
not touched, not kissed, and definitely not "fucked like bunnies" as it was
so appropriately put. She couldn't ever speak to these boys again, boys she
thought were her friends. She quit debate and left the activity because
people who are currently reading this message and have a sick feeling in
their stomach because they know that they are people who do these things, and
if you are one of those people and you don't feel sick to your stomach right
now, you don't have a conscience and I hope you burn in hell, didn't have
that sick feeling when they heard these rumors and then repeated them with
reckless abandon. Maybe everyone should think once, or even twice, about
what they say before they go and say it and hurt those around them.
Surprisingly, these rumors aren't even about me. They aren't even about
people that close to me. Sure, those rumors have been spread as well. But,
I'm making a general plea against that type of insanity and rudeness. I've
thought long and hard about what debate can do for you. It's general policy
making framework brings critical thinking skills that, even if you don't
realize it, help you get through everything in your life from the small daily
decisions to the huge choices that affect your life. So now you have a
chance to make a rational choice. Do you choose to continue to participate
in these rumors, knowing that they hurt people, or do you choose to take a
stand against it, starting personally with yourself and discouraging people
and making them feel uncomfortable when they start to speak this way? It's
your choice. I hope that what I have said will make you not take that
decision very lightly.
The purpose of this letter is not to generate discussions about rumors that I
have heard. I don't expect to recieve, nor will I reply, to any letters that
ask me "well, what exactly have you heard? And about whom? Because I
heard...." That would be merely participating in those rumors. The purpose
of this letter is to make you feel uncomfortable. It is to make you wonder
whether or not you did that once or twice, or even often, in your life. I'm
not an angel. I don't have the "No Rumor Spreading Angel" halo on my head.
In fact, some of you will probably jump out and label me a hypocrite, if you
can. Who knows? You might be able to. I'm asking all of you to take a
stand. Decide where you draw the line on this issue. If you disagree with
me, fine. But if you agree with me, make a concerted effort to discourage
these rumors.
Sincerely,
Andrew Baxter Ryan
Caddo Magnet Class of 97
Wake Fores University Class of 2001
(910) 758 6003
Bromdn@aol.com
Andrew_B_Ryan@mta.wfu.edu
PO Box 6007
Winston-Salem, NC 27109
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